Art of Loving Advice
Question:
Please don't use my name or e-mail address. I am 27 yo female lovingly
married to a great guy. He is the first and only guy I have ever had sex
with. Problem-I have never had an orgasm with him. I can masturbate myself
or with him as part of our lovemaking (he says he is turned on by watching
me) and get an orgasm. He has tried touching, kissing and intercourse but
nothing works. I fell good and excited when we are together, I just can't
seem to get there. (He doesn't ejaculate too quickly either.)He of course
doesn't know this. When I realize that "it" isn't going to happen I fake it.
We have been married 3 years. I know I should tell him but I don't want him
to feel bad about it. I'd like to know if there is anything I can do to have
an orgasm with him. And yes, our relationship is great so I don't see a need
there.
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I would tell your husband what is happening. Relationships and more importantly love does not grow by keeping secrets from one another. Sit him down and tell him honestly about your problem. Let him know it is not his fault, and you are not looking for him to take responsibility for what is happening. I would strongly recommend you seek the help of a sex therapist to help you with your current situation. I would also recommend you both work together and experiment with a variety of tools, such as books, meditation, or possibly yoga to help with your problem. You are not alone with this problem as millions of others experience the same type of problem each day. Don't allow yourself to get stressed out about this problem. Work with your husband, and get some help to resolve it.
Paul Mauchline
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