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Art of Loving Advice I'm a single male (never married, no children, age 41) who started dating a I really need some advice in a situation that has evolved over a number of years. I have been married for 2 and a half years to a beautiful intelligent woman whom I love dearly. We have been together for nearly eight years and I have at no time been unfaithful. My wife is also the only person I have ever made love to. The problem begins with her younger sister. We get along very well and other people have commented on a noticeable amount of chemistry between us. I really enjoy her company and find myself physically attracted to her when we are together. Certain comments made by my wife and her mother in the past have indicated that the sister (Lets call her Jane) has also had some amount of attraction to me. Over the years I have tried to dismiss my feelings as a simple crush that would pass with time. The feelings haven't passed and if anything have grown stronger over the passed few months. Soon we may find ourselves working for the same company and therefore spending much more time together. I ache to spend time with her but I know this will only make matters worse. I feel a great need to tell Jane how I feel about her if only so she can know. I fear this will change things forever. My wife is completely committed to me and she is perfect in every way. No one could wish for more in a wife. This only serves to increase the resentful feelings I have towards myself for allowing this situation to arise. Can a man truly love two women? Am I a complete and utter ass hole for allowing this to occur? Am I destined to carry these feelings inside me without anyone knowing for the rest of my life? I am struggling to go on like this. I feel myself becoming more and more depressed. Can you please help? |
 As human beings we have the ability to love many people. When it gets to the stage you are describing in your note; I am of the opinion that this is not healthy. I would strongly recommend you seek professional help to deal with how you are feeling. I feel there must be some problems in your relationship with your wife that have increased your attraction to her sister. I have to say that you are treading on dangerous ground here with this attraction to her sister. You need to work a lot of harder at strengthening your relationship with your wife, if this indeed what you desire. I guess I would ask you --- Is it love you are feeling---Or is it infatuation you are feeling with the sister. |
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