Art of Loving Advice
Question:
I'm 27yrs old, I recently met this girl whom I fell in love with and she opened up some feelings inside
of me that I never knew existed, all I could think of was her, I became very caring towards her and
wanted what's best for her, however she did not feel the same way about me,
through my sadness
I found out somethings about my past that I had buried for a long time.
When I was 6 years old I was
sexually abused and I guess raped by a 15 year old neighbour repeatedly, I was also beaten badly by my
father as a kid I'm not sure if I deserved it or not but I know that it's wrong to hit someone like that.
When I was 12 my friend committed suicide and since then I believed that it was OK to commit
suicide I've have had one suicide attempt since.
I'm seeing a counsellor now who's helping me, she's helping me to learn to love myself after
17 years of denial and hate for myself. Sadly though I still feel a little hate for the world because all I ever wanted was to be loved and treated with affection (physically as well), but never got it,
not even from this girl I met, she by the way wants to be my friend 'cause she cares about me
but nothing more I sometimes feel I've been given a very heavy cross to carry I know I'll get
through this but right know it's seems like all doom and gloom.
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Thank you for visiting www.artofloving.com
You cannot force someone to love you. You may have to date many women before you truly find the one for you. Appreciate the fact that this lady wants to be your friend. I would encourage you to read carefully the articles in the Love & Relationships Sections of my web site. These articles will provide you with a great deal of advice that you seek.
Keep working with your counselor is my advice to you. I agree with her diagnosis--- The Key is to love you. You cannot love another, until you love yourself. Be grateful you have a great counselor, and nice woman who cares about you and wants to remain friends with you. Stop the doom and gloom thoughts right now... they serve no purpose -- and only cause fear in your life. You cannot truly experience love when you are so consumed with fear.
Keep working on yourself. In time you will find that special person to share an intimate loving relationship.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
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