Art of Loving Advice
Question:
I am a 25 year old male who like to do a lot of fun things. I recently met a 24 year old girl through a friend of a friend and we hit it off perfectly. The first few weeks we spent every waking moment with each other. It was looking like we were going to quite possibly fall in love. It was just a matter of time. Then about a week ago, she came to the realization that she was going out of town for the summer. This spawned her to become less interested in our relationship and she decided to pretty much call it quits. I can't tell if I was overwhelming her or if she is just scared. On top of it she is a virgin. That means that she is obviously scared of something. She says that this is not by default. In her past she just hasn't met anyone that has suited her quite as well as me. And on top of this we came closer than she had ever been with a guy(sex-wise) about 2 weeks ago. What should I do and how should I go about approaching this issue? Obvious advice is not necessary(talking about it(already been done). It is like a brick wall came up in front of our relationship. This girl is special but...
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I would have one last conversation with her and express honestly your true feelings. Maybe she is not ready for a committed loving relationship. A loving relationship requires the full participation of both parties with no fear attached. In order to have a loving relationship, both individuals must expose any fear and vulnerabilities to one another. I would not assume anything about another person unless they communicate their true feelings.
Get on with your life without her, for if she truly loves and cares for you, she will come back to you. Maybe she needs some time to think things over this summer. No matter how special she may be; who is to say the she is indeed the one for you. Relationships take time to build. Based on what you have told me, you have not had that much time together.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
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