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Art of Loving Advice I have been dating a man now for approximately 7 months. He is very good to me and I am crazy about him. He has a cottage which he spends all his weekends at. Before I met him, he had this girl that he would bring up to his cottage occasionally to spend the weekend with him. He tells me that they are only friends. After about the first 3 months of our relationship, he told me that she called him one day out of the blue and asked if she could come up to his cottage for the weekend. He told her she could. He told me that he also mentioned to her that he was seeing someone (refering to me). She asked him how I would feel about her coming and he told her that he could not see it as being a problem if I was there. He did not check with me to see how I felt about this first either. Anyway, when he told me she was coming up for the weekend, I felt hurt and upset. I did not get hysterical but I told him that I was not sure if I was comfortable with that and said that I didn't know if I was going to "join" them that weekend. He tried to convince me that they were only friends and he really wanted me to be there. He tried to reassure me by telling me that if he wanted to be with her, he would be (as she is single)....but he was with me because he wants to be. In the long run, it ended up she changed her mind and did not come to his place that weekend because the weather was bad (so she said). I know he has been talking to her because I saw her phone number written on a piece of paper in his duffle bag. She has not come around his cottage when I am there as of yet, however, with the summer fast approaching, I am anticipating that she will probably be around. (she has some of the same friends as he does) This is really eating me up inside!!! I am normally not a jealous person, however, this is really bothering me! I am very threatened by her. I am finding it very difficult to get over this overwhelming feeling of insecurity. Do you think me feelings are justified or should I "get over it". I am trying very hard to come across as a confident, self-assured woman but this is eating me up inside! Unsure How to Feel |
 You answered your own question --- "Get Over it!!! " There is no room for fear and insecurity in your life or in a loving relationship. I would have to comment that your boyfriend should have checked with you first about this female friend sharing your weekend. Relationships require trust unless you find out something to the contrary. There was life before you for your boyfriend. Even if they had some sort of relationship, it has no relevance now. |
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