Art of Loving Advice
Question:
This is my first time here so bear with me. I have been with a wonderful man for the past 6 years. He holds a very important position in a company. We have to attend many business functions together. Recently we attended one that he was hosting. I began with a few glasses of wine. He kept telling me to slow down as wine and I don't agree. For some reason that I still haven't figured out I drank myself into a state that I can't recall the last part of the evening. I woke the next morning to find him IRATE with me. He had a cut under his eye. I have multiple bruises and cuts on me. He proceeded to tell me how I had totally embarrassed him and that he had lost all credibility that he had with the people that work for him. If that weren't bad enough, two men that he works with had to bring me home kicking and screaming. I apparently proceeded in telling him how much I hated him. I don't remember doing this at all. In one night I have managed to ruin his credibility at work and possibly our relationship. I am a social drinker if that. I have hurt him badly and I can't even defend my actions because I don't remember. I don't know how to fix what I have done. He has to go to work everyday and feel people talking about him behind his back. Then has to come home to me. I love him very much and would never do anything intentionally to hurt him. I need some help here because I done extreme damage to a relationship that was so good for 6 years. I have told him that I will not drink again but that is not worth much if he's not with me. Please don't print this and a reply would be greatly appreciated.
Memory Lost
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Needless to say -- wine and you don't agree with one another :):) It is not unusual for alcohol to have this affect on some people. You should not take personally what happened that night. There is an old expression excuse my slang -- shit happens. You have learnt your lesson, and I am sure you will be extra cautious in the future. Not making excuses for you. You may have been under some extra stress due to the fact your guy was hosting the event, hence the flow of wine.
You have been with him for six years without such an incident?? If that is the case, and you have apologized, he should let it go. What is done is done, and all concerned should just forget the whole thing ever happened. If he truly loves and cherishes you, he should forgive you and the matter should be closed. As for the people that attended the party, especially the gentlemen that escorted you home. I would suggest a simple written letter of apology, preferably hand written to all concerned.
Such an incident does not loose one's credibility. With no disrespect, your guy should bury his ego. As for the others, gossip is hurtful, and they need to be adults and forget what happened. If you have been with this man for 6 years I am sure you have been exposed to these people before without incident. I feel the whole incident is being blown out of proportion. Tell your guy for me to not take his co-workers personally. If they are indeed gossiping, they should think of more constructive things to do with their time in the workplace.
I will be quite blunt with you. If you guy's work and career is more important than you are to him--- you need to take a good hard look at this relationship. Life is full of embarrassing moments. You deserve better treatment than this.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
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