Art of Loving Advice
Question:
My boyfriend and I have been together over 4 years and have lived together
for the last 3. We just have one problem, I want to get married and have
children, and he is not sure what he wants from life. He has told me he's not
"motivated" to get married. I have said before that I won't wait forever for
him, and will leave him. This is the man I want to spend my life with and
feel that he is the one. Do I leave a great relationship with a very sweet
and loving man to try for another relationship that could result in marriage
and children? He just turned 31 and I will turn 31 in a couple of months.
I've been in two other long- term relationships, never married. He on the
other hand, married his high school sweetheart who left him less than a year
later. That was about 9-10 years ago. Help
|
It is difficult giving advice through this venue -- as there are always two sides to each story. Intuitively what I am feeling from your note is that your guy has problems with marriage. It is quite possible that he has not dealt with the emotional baggage from his last marriage. I urge you to get him into some therapy now!!! There is no negotiation here in my opinion. I would also urge joint counselling once he starts his own work.
J, four years is a long time, and it now up to him to start taking these issues seriously. Love begins by loving yourself. You want marriage and a family. If he is not willing to go this route with you -- then it is time to move on. Sorry to be so blunt with you.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
Back to Advice | Back to Archive
Send this page to a friend
|
 |
