Art of Loving Advice
Question:
I have been seeing this wonderful man for over a year now. I love him
very much and would like to eventually marry him. What I find disturbing
is I found key capture software and spy devices on my computer. He had
access to all my private mail. I got very angry about this and we broke
up. He promised not to do that again and it has been a few months now.
But just today I found that he had a tape recorder attached to my
phone!!!
I know this is not right but I love him very much and always forgive him
for this. How do I deal with this again. For once and for all.
Sad now.
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I would strongly suggest you revisit my site and read the many articles in the love, and relationships section. The information and advice in these articles will most certainly help you with what is happening right now, and for the future.
L, two of the key components to a loving relationship are trust and respect. Your wonderful man is not so wonderful, by violating your privacy -- which is total disrespect to you, and hence your lack of trust, based on his actions. I would be questioning how else he might have invaded your privacy, which you may not be aware of right now. This type of behaviour is totally unacceptable. Your guy needs therapy now -- not tomorrow, to deal with the reasons he acts in this manner.
I feel you need to take a good long look at this relationship, and examine these issues. Love begins by loving one's self. Start loving yourself right now, and put a stop to this once and for all. It is fine to forgive someone, but not continually for the same actions. What I am seeing here is not love --- it is infatuation. This is no foundation for a loving relationship.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
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