Art of Loving Advice
Question:
This is my first step to really finding out what's going to happen with my relationship. I am in desperate need of help. My boyfriend and I have been dating seriously for almost 4yrs. We've lived together for 3yrs now and we each have kids from previous relationships. I've been divorced for almost 5yrs and do not plan on getting married anytime soon or having children. I'll be 34yrs old soon and I feel like I'm just not happy anymore. Our relationship had been going full speed up until about 6months ago. We did everything together. Sex was never an issue. We both mentioned to eachother many times how much we satisfy each other. I devoted all of my time to my relationship and making sure my kids and his son worked well together and it was going so well. It appears that the last 6months he's been doing alot of things with his friends. Going out to Strip Clubs, staying out late, leaving during the evening when I get home from work for any reason. Our sex life has taken a big nose dive and I want all of that back. The man I fell in love with is no longer here. He doesn't consider his family a top priority. On an average he goes out 4 times a week. He's mentioned to me lately that he's allowed a private life. I'm not quite sure what that means, but I always had the idea of a committed relationship to be as ONE. He's changed drastically and I'm afraid he's going to lose not only me, but his son as well. Please help me. I'm tired of arguing and begging for attention. I don't want to do anything that I may regret. Maybe there's hope for us? I'd just like some advice. Thank you, C
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Dear C,
This venue truly is not the way to address what appears to be a severe
breakdown in your relationship. I have no quick answers for you. It would
appear something has happened to your partner, that has him escaping his
responsibilites to you and the family and going out with the boys all the
time. I would question if this is the case: Or is he having an affair?
This is unacceptable behaviour, and if this is the route he wants to go,
then he should pack his bags and let you get on with your life. C,
love begins by loving yourself first. Accepting this type of behavior should
not be accepted for the sake of yourself and your children. You deserve
better!!!
If your relationship is to be saved, couples counseling and individual
counseling and therapy is the direction you must journey.
I would also recommend you take time to read all the material on my web
site http://www.artofloving.com Here you will begin a process of educating
yourself about love and relationships. There are also many books I recommend
on the book section of the site that will assist you.
Good luck in coming to resolution to your problems.
Wishing you an epic and loving day fro The Turks & Caicos Islands.
Paul Mauchline,
The Art of Loving Institute
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