Art of Loving Advice
Question:
I was wondering if you could give
me some tips on how to go about discussing these issues with him. I am
wondering if there is a way to talk about it/ bring the subject up without
stressing him out as much. The last thing I want to do is add even more
stress to his life, but I seem to be doing exactly that. I want to be able
to have meaningful, constructive conversations with him (they are few and
far between at the moment) without making him feel stressed and pressured.
In fact, if anything, I need to know first and foremost how to simply put
him at ease, whether I am talking to him for 2 minutes or hanging out for
the night. I want to have good conversation but he seems very distressed
around me lately regardless (but especially if we talk about anything
substantial). Thanks,
-E
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Dear E,
If you have confidence in yourself, your man, and your relationship, sometimes it is best to do nothing. Not only are
you stressing him, but you are putting a lot of stress on yourself. His studies will be nearly over I would think for the
term or year, at which point you can get your relationship back on track. I can empathize with the stress of Grad
studies, and maybe cut him a little slack right now.
If you are determined to have a conversation of how you are feeling, then talk to him. Look into his eyes, and hold
his hands and tell him how you feel. Make sure you have total eye contact throughout the entire discussion, and
express your feelings without blaming him. I feel your guy should be more open with his feelings to you, especially
expressing any fears he may have, and totally exposing his vulnerabilities. This is the foundation for a rising loving
relationship. If he lacks in the communication department, you will only have problems in the future, unless he
changes his ways towards this with you.
I hope this has been of some help to you.
Wishing you an epic and loving day.
Paul Mauchline
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