EDITOR'S MESSAGE
 
Millennium Message from The Art of Loving
 

 
Paul Mauchline, Director
The Art of Loving Institute
 
Other Memo's
 
September, 2001
Our World Under Attack

August, 2001
The most important keys to having a mature, loving relationship
 
June, 2001
Our insatiable thirst for knowledge and advice about SEX
 
May, 2001
Spring that magical season that inspires love
 
April, 2001
Youth Violence
 
Feb., 2001
Valentine's Day
 
Dec., 2000
The Power of Words
 
Sept, 2000
The Importance of Gratitude
 
June, 2000
The Lessons of Love are the Greatest Gifts we can give Ourselves and Others
 
April, 2000
The Art of Loving and
The Culture of Peace Are In Our Hands
 
Dec, 1999
Millennium Message from The Art of Loving
 

December 31, 1999
 
My Dear Friends,
 
I have found myself these past several weeks in a very philosophical and contemplative mood. It seems to be a recurring pattern of mine these past 4 years since turning 40. I guess this mood is a result of the approaching Millennium, though maybe it is the effect of a recent birthday present I received from the universe. This year on December 21, the day of the Winter Solstice and my 44th birthday, I received a most amazing full moon for my special day. This was no ordinary full moon:  it came to us much closer and brighter than we ever have seen before in this century. The beautiful gift of this moon, the event of my birthday, and the end of the Millennium all have brought me to this place of contemplation.  Like a made-for-TV mini series my mind has been playing back many memories, experiences, and the learnings of my 44 years here in this world. Today my thoughts have inspired me to write and share some of what I have learned in this Millennium Message.
 
I have to say that I have had a pretty amazing life so far, full of adventures, experiences, and life lessons. I have met many people from around the world who have shared their life experiences with me as I have with them. I have circumnavigated the globe several times, including my recurring visits to Providenciales, Turks & Caicos Islands, which is now my home.  These are all factors that have played a part in making me who I am today. I have had the good fortune of having two mothers and three fathers that also have influenced my life. My two mothers particularly provided me with a balance of love, order and simplicity in my life. My recent essay entitled "My Foundation For Love" illustrates the role my two mothers played in my appreciation for life. I have had many careers in my 44 years, all entrepreneurial pursuits that have taught me more lessons than a Harvard MBA education.  While those experiences were tremendously valuable and fulfilling to me at the time, recently I have come to recognize that my true gifts and talents lie in writing, speaking, and communicating with others.  I founded "The Art of Loving Institute" to share my life experiences, thoughts, philosophy, and message of love and life.
 
I have had the experience and love of five significant women during my life in loving relationships that I hold dear to my heart, for they have taught me so many valuable life lessons. I am sure there will be a sixth woman to come into my life -- that unique woman who will compliment this already happy and complete man, who will stimulate my mind, body, spirit and soul.  Who knows maybe she is present right now. Of all the aspects of my life, my relationships seem to be the favorite topic of discussion amongst my family and friends. I never asked for this dance of love, it has just happened to me. I don't question it anymore, for I feel there is a reason for everything the universe provides.  Thus I feel I have been provided with these experiences of my life to share with others, and they are the basis for the messages I deliver to the world.
 
I would have to say honestly that today I feel very lucky and extremely fulfilled at the age of 44, and would not trade my life experiences whatsoever. I have had the good fortune at different times to experience the material side of life with homes, cars, and so many toys -- for you can tell the age of the boy by the price of his toys :)...I have traveled first class, stayed in fine hotels, eaten and drunk in some of the finest restaurants in the world, when few others have had these opportunities. I feel very blessed and privileged to have experienced all of this, for it was the result of my hard work over the years. No one gave it to me, it was earned, which makes me appreciate these experiences even more. Did all this provide happiness for me? No, not really. It has taken me my entire life to find out what is truly important in my life. Today I own a ten-year-old American made car that I treat like a Mercedes. I own no home and live in a flat smaller than the first apartment I lived in at the age of 17. I have no money to speak of, no stocks and bonds, no retirement savings -- all things I used to have at one time in my life. I live very comfortably, but what is most important, I am extremely happy today. I walk the beach daily when I am home here in Providenciales and renew my mind, body, spirit and soul. It is these walks and the direction I have chosen to take in my life that brings great happiness and contentment to me. This life is not for everyone, but I guess the point I am trying to make is that we all have choices in our lives. We choose to be happy or unhappy. For me material things truly bring no happiness. I would not trade my beach walk for all the tea in China. It is the simple things in life that truly make me happy. I have heard for so many years from my mother, "Keep It Simple, Paul."  Today I have recognized how simple and wonderful life can be if we allow it to happen. We all have the ability to change, to have happier, more loving and fulfilling lives. The choice is ours to make if this is what we desire.
 
I could say more, but I will save some for the book I have been working on for several years. It will reach the world before the end of the first year of this new millennium, that I guarantee. Right now I would like to share some key things about love or life, because they are both one in the same.  That I have learned as we come to the dawn of a new century.
 
Reflecting on the loss of two of my fathers, an uncle, and a best friend before the age of twenty, I learned that while most of us focus on the fear of death, what we truly fear is life, and more importantly love. Thus today I embrace life and love in my daily actions.
 
I learned that money and possessions do not bring love and happiness to life.
 
I have learned that, to quote Katherine Anne Porter, “Love must be learned, and learned again and again;  there is no end to it."
 
I recognize that love is an art that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration and practice.
 
I have learned that life and the lives of the ones you love are now and today: this is not a dress rehearsal for another life you will have later...live it with love now.
 
For so many years my priorities were wrong, which caused bad choices and unhappiness in my life and for those I loved. Priorities are key, a component to a more fulfilling, loving life. My four top priorities are as follows, 1) Myself, 2) My Spouse or Partner, 3) My Family which includes children, 4) Work or Career. In my opinion this has to remain constant to experience true love of one self, which allows one to share a journey of rising love with a partner, which is the example partners must give to their children and to all they encounter in life.
 
Love is an action.  Treat it as such. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to love.
 
I judge no other man or woman in this world. This it is not my right. I respect all for who they are as individuals, and treat them equally with love and respect.
 
The meaning of "loving" to me is as follows,

L      Life

O     Options / Choices

V     Vision / Imagination

 I      Intimacy

N    Nurturing

G    Giving

In my opinion love is rising, not falling. You must love yourself, be happy and complete, in order to be capable of sharing a rising love with another. What we should seek is that unique individual to compliment us and stimulate our mind, body, spirit and soul. It has to be all or nothing:  partial is not acceptable.To have a truly rising, loving journey with a partner, we must share erotic, platonic, romantic, practical, philosophical, intellectual and enduring love with one another.
 
I recognize the importance and beauty of "touch" and  have no fear of embracing another with a warm hug, or holding a loved one anytime and anywhere. I love to touch the one I love. I love holding hands with the one I love. It is the art of touch that makes loving so sweet. Touch has brought out my feminine side. We all as men and women need a balance of yin and yang, both masculine and feminine, to experience love all the time in our lives.
 
The most important lesson I learned came in the final year of this century: the lesson of unconditional love. We all came into this world with unconditional love; we were brought into this world as the purest form of love imaginable. Why did we change? Why are there so many sad, unhappy and troubled people in the world today? Why are there so many divorces? Why is there so much violence in the world? Why are our young people committing suicide and performing such serious acts of violence and aggression? Why do so many children grow up with only one parent? Why are road rage and air rage such common occurrences today? I could fill a book with these types of questions that cross my mind each day as I watch the evening news and read the newspapers of the world. Why is this all happening? I believe the reason is because we are not choosing love. Too many of us have forgotten the unconditional love we knew when we entered this world.
 
We hear daily so many songs of love, and one comes to mind today, "What The World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love."  Why do we not choose Love? This is a question that the great minds of all time have explored. More books, television programs, movies, magazine and newspapers articles have been written and still so many of us choose not to love. Why?  It is beyond me how we as intelligent beings choose to live in such hate, chaos, toxicity, and dysfunction and most importantly FEAR!!!!!  My equation for you to think about is very simple. LOVE = LIFE, FEAR = NO LIFE, there truly is no in between.  I choose LOVE, for I have seen what FEAR  can do to my life and the lives of my loved ones and so many others in the world's population. In my books, FEAR is unacceptable and it is about time we stop and recognize the consequences of this choice that we allow so graciously to come into our lives.
 
With the beginning of the new millennium, maybe it is time to start recognizing this most important choice that faces each of us everyday. Let us all begin this new century with the intelligence and awareness to choose LOVE over FEAR. Love is the biggest gift you can give to anyone and most importantly to yourself. Love is the cure to the problems we face each and everyday. It is our choice.  Fear is a choice that will continue to negatively affect our world unless we do something about it. In my opinion there is no room for FEAR in our world; there is only room for more LOVE.
 
My Dear Friends, thank you for taking the time to read my message. This message was written to promote the awareness of LOVE in our lives, so please take a few minutes to forward my message to your family members and friends.
 
Wishing you all my warmest best wishes for a most joyous and loving New Millennium.
 
Sending to you all oceans of love from Providenciales, Turks & Caicos Islands.
 
The Art of Loving Man
 

 
Five years ago Paul Mauchline launched an in depth North American phase of research into,"LEARNING TO KEEP LOVE IN YOUR LIFE." His new dynamic workshop series, The Art of Loving ™, promises to help you learn the skills you need to succeed in a lasting, loving relationship.
 
He is the founder and director of The Art of Loving Institute based in Providenciales, Turks & Caicos, British West Indies.
 
"I'm a researcher, writer, and speaker -- not an accredited counselor or therapist. The purpose of my life's work has been to get people to recognize that LOVE TAKES KNOWLEDGE & EFFORT. The purpose of my articles, soon to be released book, and workshop series is to provide a foundation of skills that will open doors to establish and enhance a more loving attitude towards oneself and others."
 
"THE ART OF LOVING WORKSHOP PROVIDES THE FOUNDATION FOR BUILDING A MORE PASSIONATE AND COMMITTED LOVING LIFE."