THE CIRCLE OF LOVE
 
by Paul Mauchline

Why do many people continuously get trapped in the vicious circle of relationships based on infatuation? It is simple: they do not love themselves, and therefore they are willing to forfeit their individuality, including their wants and needs, just to have somebody in their life.
 
The degree to which you love yourself is the degree to which you will be able to extend love to others, and inevitably to find the one for you.
 
Do you extend as much kindness to yourself, as you do to others?
 
Do you love yourself?
 
Take a few moments. Ponder these questions carefully and soulfully.
 
Look at the second question again. Are you guilty of giving up time with friends and family - or, perhaps more importantly, giving up the pursuit of your dreams -- for the sake of another? If this is you, don't panic or feel bad: you are not alone. Millions of people are in this vicious circle. The good news is that you can change, reverse this pattern, and move from a vicious circle into a loving circle.
 
Don't know where to begin?
 
Let me provide the "Circle of Love" road map, so you can recognize the road signs on your path to love.
 
It all starts with you. You are the center of your "Circle of Love".
 
Finding the right person with whom to share your life is not the first focus of loving. The primary focus is how you live your daily life: it's developing your capacity for loving yourself, so that you may better love those around you. It all centers on you. On a daily basis, increase the love you give to yourself. Be kind and loving to you. Start doing things for you. This is not being selfish: this is an act of self-love. You will be amazed how your new attitude towards giving and receiving love returns to you.
 
Love extended to others in a healthy way is like the knowledge that a teacher shares with his or her students. At the end of the class, the teacher retains the knowledge and the students have gained the knowledge. Love is like the teacher's knowledge in that it should be shared, not given away at one's own expense. The more you share love, the more love you will gain.
 
There is a world of difference between the person who possesses self-love and the person who does not. The former is truly giving in sharing love with others, whereas the latter is not. It all starts with loving yourself: this will allow you to give a more enriched love to others. Once you reach this point, your Circle of Love will expand.
 
Within an expanded Circle of Love, you will be able to extend, attract, and recognize committed love. Once you have the committed love you seek, you can rise to new levels of love in your life. Love's Journey is an endless road, and your Loves' Circle just keeps getting bigger.
 
Erich Fromm in his book, The Art of Loving, described love as an art that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith and practice daily. Today, more than ever, knowledge and skills are required to master The Art of Loving.
 
Your life and the lives of those you love are happening now. Your life today is not a dress rehearsal for another life you will have later... Live it with love now.
 
Copyright © 2000-2001. All rights reserved. Paul Mauchline