Love=Life Fear=No Life
 
by Paul Mauchline

Every week, without fail, someone either writes or approaches me with the question: "What have you learned about love?" It is a difficult question to answer completely, because, every day, I learn something new. Each day I watch the world, and I am given new lessons, not only about love, but also about fear. Since I am not one to ignore or avoid a challenge, I will give you what would be my answer to this question today:
 
I learned that money and possessions do not bring love and happiness to life.
 
I have learned that, in the words of Katherine Anne Porter, "Love must be learned, and learned again and again; there is no end to it."
 
I recognize that love is an art that requires patience, confidence, discipline, concentration, faith, and practice daily, as Erich Fromm told us in his book, The Art of Loving.
 
I have learned that life and the lives of the ones you love are happening now and today. This is not a dress rehearsal for another life you will have later... Live it with love now.
 
For so many years, my priorities were wrong. This caused bad choices and unhappiness for me and for those I loved. Priorities are a key component to a more fulfilling, loving life. My four top priorities are as follows: 1) Myself, 2) My Spouse or Partner, 3) My Family, which includes children, and 4) Work or Career. In my opinion, this has to remain constant to experience true love of oneself, which allows one to share a journey of rising love with a partner, which, in turn, is the example partners must set for their children and for all people they encounter in life.
 
Love is an action. Treat it as such. Actions speak louder than words when it comes to love.
 
I judge no other man or woman in this world. This it is not my right. I respect everyone for who they are, as individuals, and treat them equally with love and respect.
 
The meaning of "loving" to me is as follows:

L Life
O Options / Choices
V Vision / Imagination
I Intimacy
N Nurturing
G Giving

In my opinion, love is rising, not falling. You must love yourself, be happy and complete, in order to be capable of sharing a rising love with another. What we should seek is that unique individual who complements us and stimulates our mind, body, spirit, and soul. It has to be all or nothing: partial is not acceptable. To have a truly rising, loving journey with a partner, we must share erotic, platonic, romantic, practical, philosophical, intellectual, and enduring love with one another.
 
I recognize the importance and beauty of touch. I have no fear of embracing another with a warm hug, or holding a loved one anytime and anywhere. I love to touch the one I love. I love holding hands with the one I love. It is the art of touch that makes loving so sweet. Touch has brought out my feminine side. We all, as men and women, need a balance of yin and yang, both masculine and feminine, to experience love all the time in our lives.
 
The most important lesson I ever learned came in the final year of the 20th century: the lesson of unconditional love. We all came into this world with unconditional love. We were brought into this world as the purest form of love imaginable. Why did we change? Why are there so many sad, unhappy, and troubled people in the world today? Why are there so many divorces? Why is there so much violence in the world? Why are our young people committing suicide and performing such serious acts of violence and aggression? Why do so many children grow up with only one parent? Why are road rage and air rage such common occurrences today? I could fill a book with these types of questions that cross my mind, each day, as I watch the evening news and read the newspapers of the world. Why is all this happening? I believe the reason is this: we are not choosing love. Too many of us have forgotten the unconditional love we knew when we entered this world.
 
We constantly hear so many songs of love. Today, one comes to my mind: "What The World Needs Now Is Love Sweet Love." Why do we not choose love? This is a question that the great minds of all time have explored. More books, television programs, movies, and articles in magazines and newspapers have been written, and, yet, still so many of us choose not to love. Why? It is beyond my understanding why we, as intelligent beings, would choose to live in such hate, chaos, toxicity, dysfunction, and most importantly FEAR!!!!! My equation for you to think about is very simple: LOVE = LIFE, FEAR = NO LIFE. There truly is no in between. I choose LOVE. I have seen what FEAR can do to my life and to the lives of my loved ones and so many others in the world's population. In my books, FEAR is unacceptable. It is about time that we stop and recognize the consequences of this choice that we allow, so graciously, to come into our lives.
 
With the beginning of the new millennium, maybe it is time to start recognizing this most important choice. Each of us faces the choice between LOVE and FEAR everyday. Let us all begin this new century with the intelligence and awareness to choose LOVE over FEAR. Love is the biggest gift you can give to anyone, especially to yourself. Love is the cure to the problems we face each and every day. It is our choice. Fear is a choice that will continue to negatively affect our world unless we do something about it. In my opinion there is no room for FEAR in our world. There is only room for more LOVE.
 
Copyright © 2000-2001. All rights reserved. Paul Mauchline