ART OF LOVING QUESTIONNAIRE

Allow yourself to reflect upon the following questions basing your answers on a current or recent relationship.

This is not a quiz or test. There is no passing or failing grade. The purpose of the following questions is to stimulate your mind, heart and soul. Take an honest objective look at yourself, to recognize your strengths and your weaknesses in your relationships, but most important to take a good hard look at yourself and see how you can enhance the love in your life.

Are you happy with the way you and your partner handle household responsibilities?

1. Do you express your honest feelings to your partner?
2. Do you want to improve things in your relationship, but don't know where to begin?
3. Do you give others the "silent treatment"?
4. Do you think that one partner's judgement is more important than the other's?
5. Do you find yourself constantly working to get love, affection and intimacy from your partner?
6. Do you shy away from conflict with your partner?
7. When you talk to your partner about your relationship, do you feel supported and understood?
8. Do you give in too quickly to end an argument?
9. Are you moody or do you have a bad temper?
10. Are you the jealous type?
11. Is there one person in your relationship that wants sex much more often than the other?
12. Do you believe good relationships have no conflict?
13. Do others complain that you spend too much or too little?
14. Who compromises more often, you or your partner?
15. Have you become emotionally cold and numb inside?
16. Are you content with your physical appearance?
17. Does your partner try to control or change you?
18. Does your partner sexually fulfill you?
19. Do you fulfill your partner's sexual needs?
20. Do you trust your partner?
21. Does your partner have all the qualities you consider important in a mate?
22. At times, is your partner too overbearing?
23. Is your partner living up to his/her potential?
24. Do you feel that your partner is distant from you even when you are lying beside them in bed?
25. Do you and your partner frequently argue but fail to resolve your differences?
26. Was your parent's relationship close and happy?
27. Are you happy with the way you and your partner handle financial issues?
28. Have you considered leaving your partner (or have you and your partner talked about separating)?
29. Is your partner dependable?
30. Does your partner ever exclude you from decision making?
31. Do you feel responsible when you are in conflict with your partner?
32. Do you ask for what you need from others?
33. Is your partner an optimist or a pessimist?
34. Is there physical closeness and intimacy in your relationship?
35. Does your partner embarrass you in public?
36. Do angry outbursts and arguments occur when you and your partner discuss things ­ calm discussions seem impossible?
37. Do you wonder where the love you and your partner used to show toward one another has gone?
38. Do you and your partner communicate well?
39. Does your partner constantly criticize you?
40. Do you believe romantic love fades with time?
41. Do you and your partner argue about every little thing?
42. Can you be affectionate with your partner without it leading to sex?
43. Do you and your partner set aside special time to be together?
44. Do you ever seek the comfort from sources other than your partner (i.e.: from family, television, drugs, Internet friends, casual sexual encounters)?
45. Do you ever neglect your relationship because of work or social responsibilities?
46. Is television an important part of your leisure time?
47. Are you jealous when your partner spends time with others?
48. How often do you go out on dates with your partner?
49. Do you and your partner take the time to enjoy recreational activities with one another?
50. How much time do you devote to your partner daily?
51. How often do you go on a vacation or on special getaways alone with your partner?
52. Does your family interfere with your relationship?
53. Does your partner spend too much time with family and friends?
54. How do you prioritize the following four items (with  # 1 being your top priority)?
    • Your career (Job)
    • Your partner
    • Your family (including children)
    • Yourself

In my opinion this last question is the most important that I have ever asked.

Copyright © 2000 All rights reserved. Paul Mauchline