Featured Positions:
'Congress of the Cow' & 'The Mare's Position'
Our first thoughts
about the Kama Sutra invoke mental pictures of aerobic sexual positions
with names such as congress of the cow, the swing, fixing of a nail,
and the lotus. Many of us have seen the gymnastics involved and think
what's the point? I'd break my neck attempting that!
But not all of the positions and instructions written by Vatsyayana
were meant for only physical sexual pleasure; many are variations
of Yoga postures. The Yoga postures were involved to bring the lovers
closer together in a higher spiritual and mental union. That deeper
connection we all want!
The goals of the Kama Sutra are to bring pleasure of the five senses
of feeling, seeing, tasting, hearing and smelling together with the
mind and spirit. It was India's 400 AD sensual lovemaking manual.
It taught that lovemaking was far from a simple act of procreation,
it was an art form to be celebrated!
So how can we use the Kama Sutra today? What does it have to offer
us, a society so obsessed with sex? Don't we, in the 21st century
of sexual liberation know it all by now? I believe we still have a
lot to learn about love, sex and sensuality in our highly technical
society.
What I gleaned from the Kama Sutra are the sensual, spiritual and
emotional connections that can be neglected in our often-crazy lives.
Sure, these guys were noblemen and had the time to pamper themselves
and their lovers but the truth of the matter is that we generally
put sensuality low on our list of priorities in today's world. We're
way too busy working to make the mortgage payment…
The Kama Sutra
is based on the etiquette of the time with very specific guides on
hygiene and preparations for lovemaking as well as the positions and
sexual instructions. We mustn't get lost in our attempts to become
more sexually adept in the instructions. It's the closeness and the
fun and laughter while attempting some of the wilder poses and the
sensual play that may end up bringing you and your lover closer together.
Sure, you may really get off and connect with your lover on a higher
level as you unite in the 'congress of a cow', but don't focus entirely
on the goal of the mind-blowing orgasm. Allow yourself to laugh as
you play and experiment.
As you both play together in this intimate way, you may find yourself
letting go of your inhibitions and insecurities and simply relax and
have fun while at the same time building the sexual energy that is
needed for extended lovemaking and orgasms.
Position for Him:
The Congress of a Cow!
This position is one for the more physically fit couple. It also is
one of those that should provide a good laughing session.
Vatsyayana had a thing for imitating the ways animals mated. He suggests
doing it like a tiger, deer, elephant….you name it, he must have
had a lot of time on his hands for fooling around. Ok, enough talk
about him, here is the congress of a cow.
This is one of the rear entry positions.
Basically, the woman stands, with her legs slightly spread and knees
locked or (bent slightly for comfort) and supports herself with her
hands on the floor- the bend over position. (Don't try this if you
are not limber)
He thrusts from behind holding onto your waist or hips. This way he
can move you along with his momentum. Great for him, but not the greatest
for you. Let him have enough to really get going, but if you're like
most women you won't want it to stop there, so change positions before
he ejaculates. You may want to try these less than satisfying positions
just to add a little something different to your routine but by all
means don't think you have to do it like that until he climaxes. Just
keep his interest. Then get into a comfortable position when you are
ready to turn things around!
Note for her-I've found that in the time it takes to reshuffle into
a new position, get a drink of water etc, we women can lose that sense
of erotic urgency we had during foreplay. Say, for example he is kissing
your lotus flower and you have climaxed several times and need a couple
minutes to rebuild the sexual tension- enough to want him to penetrate
you in a bad way. But he's ready to rock and roll. Get verbal ladies.
As you are maneuvering from your back or wherever to the standing
position for the congress of the cow, do not let him jam into you
unless you are really ready and aching for him to do so. Ask him to
rub his mighty shaft against your flower until you are ready for his
thrusts…
Position for Her-
The Mare's Position!
Here's one of my favorites.
While he is on his back with his legs outstretched in front of him
you can straddle him either facing or with your back to him. Rub his
erection against your petals and clitoris until you are ready then
sit down onto his shaft. Tighten your PC (vaginal muscles) around
him in a pulsing manner as you gently rock side to side or back and
forth or up and down or a variation of those movements. You may fondle
and stroke his scrotum and your own clitoris for direct stimulation
with your hand. He can sit up and kiss your neck and ears as you arch
back to meet his tender kisses and nibbles. Tickle him softly with
your hair. Ask him to caress your breasts and tweak your nipples as
you bear down onto his erection.
This position is one for play and fun, but I don't recommend it for
reaching orgasm. The natural tilt of his penis may keep it from rubbing
on your g spot and leave you without the deeper g spot orgasm. Sure,
you can bring yourself to clitoral orgasm by self-stimulation or by
him reaching around to stimulate your clitoris but I suggest you turning
to face him to reach the big G-O's.
As you face him, he may want to lie back and let you go for the gusto.
You may want to use your hand to stimulate your clitoris while rubbing
and plunging down onto his erection and find the correct position
for stimulation of your G spot at the same time while you're rubbing
your clit. By alternating squeezing and pushing outward you can better
locate the best position for g spot stimulation. Once you find it
you will know and glow!
*Reaching orgasm-tip for her
Sometimes our minds tend to wander from one silly thought to another,
worrying about how our hair looks to him… distracting us from
the sensations and feelings we are trying to enjoy. This is when I
suggest closing your eyes and if you are having a hard time reaching
orgasm, you may want to try a little fantasy for added stimulation
to your most sexy organ your brain. Don't worry about being weird,
just let go and use your imagination. That's one of the reasons why
we have one!
The best way to improve your love life is to use lots of communication
and lubrication! Don't underestimate the power of a good lube, especially
if you are approaching, are in or are post-menopausal. Get over being
shy and tell him what would please you. Never start in a negative
tone when communicating your desires. Instead of saying "I can't
stand the way you diddle me, it bugs me instead of making me aroused."
Try a more positive approach, "Oh honey, you know what I'd really
like? Rub me slowly up and down the hood…that'd feel wonderful!"
You don't want to deflate his ego. Most likely he'll be afraid to
touch you again if you put his technique down.
Have fun and always keep love in your bedrooms!
Debora Myers is
a writer, editor, and co-founder of:
http://www.Ladyfire.com
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